3 AM Motivation
Maintaining Motivation is Damn Hard
maintaining motivation is too hard, in last several days, ive been trying to achieve something, but it’s never achieved.
Here’s some comedic experience I’ve try to achieve but failed
Learning Cantonese (Lasts 4 months)
This is really fun, but you know apparently learning 6 hours a week (2 hours@meeting@week) burns out like aspprpparsp.
It’s so fun though, but you know cantonese content is so insane, the thing is no matter how hard you try, it seems like you’ll never be able to understand the locals talk, even the videos, they are very fast.
Im not sure whether I should compare this to other languages, but I feel like learning japanese for a while, I could pick up at leas 30% of the conversation. But cantonese, even with 4 months.
You can barely understand 4%???
Like wth?
Learning Mandarin (Lasts 3 months)
Mandarin is so fun, but I think it’s not really challenging, not being a hypocrite, drinking my own bucket of saliva, but i feel like mandarin chinese is easier to learn, yet i don’t have the proper motivation to learn it, it feels like the grammar is not an issue with all these chinese variations, but for me, the issue is something like picking up all the vocabulary could get me mixed up here and there 🥴
Attempting PhD (Lasts 2 weeks)
I was so excited as I was working in the research and development industry, but as soon as I read some goddamn hard crazy research paper, my motivation goes down as soon as I see the primal dual problem and this very hard math I was trying to avoid for 8 years of me doing competitive programming.
Proper Diet (Lasts 4 hours)
It’s just crazy how I goes like (Fuck fuck im so damn fat, im 70 kgs+) now, I need to lose weight (thoughts coming after eating), but when im hungry, my body just goes full primal mode.
Humans are very funny, the only point i got to very very light was back in covid 19, but it was merely because the access to food was so hard and im poor as crap.
I have very short attention span
I actually have a pretty short attention span, I could be doing this at one minute and thinking of doing something else at another.
Actually I really like how LLM helps me a lot when it comes to coding, it cuts down time that I spend to make my ideas come true, like a simple tool that I need in order to do simple things, all the things that these llm can generate seem s to be very convinient for me.
Any way, talking about attention span, so why do you think ive been writing so many things these days? Yea, I just broke my diary streak because I was just being too lazy, but anyway, I gained motivations in writing blog again because it feels like the right thing to do beside just sitting in bed, doing unproductive things, the less I write daily, the more idea i have that i can share.
