The Art of Subtlety

Subtlety is a noun that means the quality of being delicate, understated, or hard to notice. It also refers to a small, fine, but important detail or distinction in meaning.

The title might sound very cliche. You might have heard of the terms or books:

• The Art of Not Giving a Fuck
• The Art of War
• The Art of ○○○○○○

And here I am, gonna make myself some messages from the past to my future of why being subtle truly brought grace to my life.

Find a Good Purpose, Operate, and Never Tell Anyone

Doing a good thing without a goal — especially if you have NPD, performative, attention-seeking disorder, or as simple as just normal human who needs attention; is a super hard thing to do. You can't banish the tendency to stop impressing people if you have one of these disorders. So that's why it's good to pick something that you wanna be, and think of it as a secret that you must not tell anyone. Do it, you can make it looks like you want someone to see you. But, just make it 𝕤𝕦𝕓𝕥𝕝𝕖. This is similar to the "fake-it-till-you-make-it" mentality. But, when you do it long enough, you'll eventually get used to it, and don't expect much.

Decluttering is Important: Sudden Wealth Syndrome

Sudden wealth syndrome hits me super hard. I tried to hide it from everyone. Including myself. I have taken many steps. One of them is quitting social media. If you want to share something, you don't have to overdo it. You can be subtle about it. You can try so many hobbies, make yourself happy. But, don't tell anyone because you don't want to look like you're showing off. Writing blogs, it helped me.

I kinda like to show myself off in my blogs. Be honest about myself, have my own opinions, but, to not show it off entirely in social media. So this is my way, of being 𝕤𝕦𝕓𝕥𝕝𝕖.

Stop, Think, and Evaluate

I never told anyone about this in real life, but I know for a fact that public speaking and communication is really important for your life and career. I really like to watch Vinh Giang. A youtuber who teach people on how to have aura when it comes to public speaking.

My secrets are:

• Avoid being the center of information — I usually just hide myself, and try to shift the focus to the person that I am talking to. This is my way of trying to be subtle about my identity. This also reveals on how a certain conversation should be heading to. For example, you can adjust your pace, talking style, accent, and choice of words to the said person.
• You can lie a bit, you can try to adjust your preference. Depends on what they like, you can "pretend" that you like it too. Of course, don't do such a grotesque attempt to please your speaking partner, and just... be subtle about it.
• If you have ADHD, racing intrusive thoughts, and have a quick-witted mind. You be should be grateful, and subtle about it. Think more than one replies, and pick the funniest ones. Don't be sassy, and always prefer the self-deprecating or neutral jokes. Because guessing someone's limit is never a good thing.